Nightmares And Dreamscapes
by v23474
Summary: Reality Bites...Or Does It ? An SJ Trilogy
1. Nightmares And Dreamscapes Chapter One

Could The Stargate name and original characters belong solely to MGM, Double Secret and Gekko Film Corp. The title has been 'borrowed' from a Stephen King novel. However the storyline and any new characters that follow belong to me; © Victoria C.L Forsyth 2002 (AKA Gekko23474)  
  
PART ONE  
  
A Stargate SG-1 Story  
  
Jack O'Neill stood in front of the mirror in the locker room. He stared back at his reflection. It didn't look good. Jack moved to rub his eyes, if he could just shake off this damn headache. The dark circles under his eyes told tales of several sleepless nights and an increase of the meds Dr Fraiser prescribed. Jack was popping four or five at a time. He was damn lucky that no-one had noticed a difference in his actions. Sam had been a little wary, but so far hadn't said anything. Teal'c being Teal'c had been his usual stoic self. Jack tried to smile but the face staring back at him just looked haunted.  
"Colonel ? Sir are you in there ?"  
"I'll be right out, Major." Jack ran the faucet and splashed cold water over his face. He looked again in the mirror, imagining he could see color returning. He smiled to himself finally, get a grip O'Neill, he warned himself. It was good to step into the Gate Room with his two team mates. As the three of them walked through the event horizon on their latest mission, Jack saluted the memory of Daniel, as he always did. Sam was worried. Jack was acting weird. OK, weirdness was the Colonel's speciality, along with sarcasm and a rather cute way of acting dumb. Sam always knew that Jack was smarter than he made himself out to be. Over the last few months, she and Jack had gotten closer. It wasn't just the gentle kiss on the top of her head not long after Daniel's ascension or the late night phone calls when they were on leave. No, it was more than that and Sam was grateful. Relieved also, not to have to hide her feelings for her CO anymore. Even General Hammond had given his blessing in that gruff way of his, overlooking the rules on officers getting involved. Sam loved Jack O'Neill. She always had. They had been through so much together. So many times, risking their lives to keep the team together. Remembering the situation on the ice field. Depite the cold, it was one time Sam did not want to forget. But now, Jack was acting strange. Sam didn't want him to know that she'd realized. He looked tired now, so tired. The headaches, more frequent.  
While on duty he was as strong as ever, always one step ahead with sarcastic quips and dogged determination.  
Off duty however, he seemed different, not as sharp and in control. Neither he or Sam wanted to draw attention to might be wrong. They just wanted to be together as much as possible, draw comfort from each other.  
  
SG-1 landed on P4X-997. Sam stepped through first, followed by Teal'c. The two of them walked down the few steps and waited for Jack. Usually the one to get through first and on his feet, Jack shocked his team by staggering through the gate and stumbling down the steps. Teal'c caught his friend, "Are you alright O'Neill ?" he asked.  
"Yeah, Teal'c. Peachy." Sam glanced over to Jack. He wasn't OK.  
"OK people, let's move out." Being only the three of them now, Jack did not give the order to split up. They tried that once when Jonas Quinn had been with them. Never again. Teaming Jonas withTeal'c had been a very bad idea. Not least because on recons, Teal's companion had always been Daniel, teaming Teal'c with Jonas was like betraying Space Monkey.  
For his part, Teal'c had accepted the pairing with his usual stoic manner, not revealing any emotion on the subject.  
Jonas Quinn, for his part, worked hard to prove he was a team player, it couldn't have been easy for him either, knowing that he had in effect replaced a valued team member who had sacrificed himself to save the people of Kelona.  
Jonas had returned to P9Y-4C3, for a recon mission of his own, to try and restore relations with the High Minister of Kelona. None of the SGC envied him that task. There had been no contact from Jonas for days, the SGC tried to send communication through the Gate, now all they could do was wait for Jonas Quinn to contact them.  
  
This mission was a recon too. A chance to explore a new planet, so far no threat from the Goa'uld. No ancient script to be trasnslated. Jack wondered whether General Hammond had given this mission to them deliberately. Sam, Jack and Teal'c settled into an easy silence, walking along, scanning the area. Sam stopped to collect a few ground samples. Teal'c kept watch around them. Jack stood looking up at the blue sky, so bright, so.....  
"Major Carter !" Teal'c's voice rang out in the silence. Sam stood abruptly. Something in the way Teal'c called her made her blood run cold.  
"What is it Teal'c ?" Sam asked as she turned. She didn't need to say any more. There before her eyes, the huge Jaffa was crouched beside a fallen O'Neill.  
Sam felt like she was wading through quicksand as she made her way over to where Jack was lying.  
"What happened ? Teal'c ?"  
"I am unsure Major Carter, I turned and he was on the ground." Teal'c replied.  
"It hurts, Carter. Make it stop."  
"Sir, I don't know if I can. Oh God." Sam could feel tears burning her throat. She knew what was happening. There was nothing she could do. Colonel Jack O'Neill was dying right before her eyes, a ruptured aneurysm.  
"I can't feel my left side Sam." Jack slurred.  
"Sir, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
"Sam, what's happening ?" Jack looked terrified.  
"Jack,I don't know. I'm sorry." She was lying to Jack and she hated it. Not knowing how to tell him was nearer the truth. Sam couldn't hold the tears back any longer. She knelt by Jack and slowly took him in her arms, sobbing. Teal'c stepped forward, "Let me go and get help, Major Carter." He said.  
"There's no time, he's dying Teal'c." Sam said, cradling Jack's head in her arms.  
"I love you Samantha Carter." Jack said slowly before closing his eyes.  
"I love you too, Jack. I love you too." No sooner had the words left Sam's lips, then Jack gave a final breath and was silent.  
Sam's sobs became louder. She rocked slowly, holding Jack in her arms.  
  
"Incoming Traveller !"  
"SG-1's iris code Sir."  
"Open the iris." General Hammond ordered. The event horizon pulsed forward and settled back. The first person through the Gate was Sam, followed by Teal'c who carried the lifeless form of Colonel Jack O'Neill. Before Sam could stop him, General Hammond had boomed an order into the microphone, "Medical Team to the Embarkation Room, STAT !"  
"No point." Sam whispered, to no-one in particular. Teal'c would not give up Jack's body to the waiting interns with the gurney. Instead he carried Jack to the Infirmary himself, head held high. Sam and Teal'c waited outside the Infirmary. Neither spoke. A few minutes later, Dr Janet Fraiser appeared. Sam looked for some glimmer of hope in Janet's eyes and found none.  
"Janet ?" she said.  
"Sam, I am so sorry." Janet said, seeing the pain in her friend's eyes. Sam felt her legs give out beneath her. Just as she fell Teal'c caught her and gently sat her down on one of the chairs.  
"Sam, you did all you could, but the Colonel died on the planet."  
"I did nothing Janet, NOTHING !" Sam was shouting now.  
"Sam, don't say that." Janet's voice broke with emotion.  
  
It didn't hurt any more. Yay, Jack thought, the headache has gone. Man that was a killer!  
"Hello Jack."  
"Danny Boy, Space Monkey. When did you get back ?"  
"You should be asking when you arrived " Daniel said.  
"What ? Don't go all cryptic on me. Daniel. You know I hate that."  
"Sorry Jack. But I haven't come back, it's time for you to come with me."  
"You kidding ? The path to enlightenment and all that ??" Jack stared at his best friend, "You saying I'm dead ?"  
"Take a look Jack." Daniel said and suddenly the bright light changed to the Infirmary, Jack saw himself on the bed, stood around him were Dr Frasier, Teal'c, General Hammond and most disturbing of all, Sam. Sam, beautiful Sam, sobbing, his Sam. For such a short time.  
"OK Daniel, I don't want to see this now. It's getting to be like those old movies, 'Wonderful Life' this is not."  
"I'm sorry Jack, I really am."  
"Not as sorry as I am. Believe me." Jack looked again, Teal'c was putting his arm around Sam's shoulder as she lay against Jack.  
"We sorta got together not long after you left us Daniel. I should really thank you." Jack said, still watching the ensuing scene. "They can't bring me back, can they ?" He continued, remembering the attempt to bring Daniel back. Daniel shook his head, "You're brain dead Jack. Nothing more can be done. I'm sorry."  
"Don't go on apologizing Danny, it's not your fault. Damn headaches. Wonder if they'll use me as evidence that Gate travel is hazardous to your health?" Jack quipped. Daniel smiled, Jack, funny even in death.  
"Hey Daniel," Jack said, suddenly remembering something, "You appeared to me, to tell Jacob. Can I appear to Sam ?"  
"I have no idea, Jack." Daniel said. Jack smiled now, Daniel's familiar line when faced with something new !  
"Why don't you try." Daniel suggested.  
"Yeah, I should, 'cos there's something she needs to know." Jack said and he found himself stood in the Infirmary looking at his body, weird. Jack slowly touched Sam's shoulder and they both found themsleves back in the Gate Room surrounded by bright light and Daniel.  
"What's going on ?" Sam was bewildered, "Hi Daniel." She said, at first not seeing Jack.  
"Hi Sam, look over here." Jack said.  
  
Sam did so and immediately broke down. Jack felt himself tear apart again, watching her cry. It had been painful enough to watch her cry after Daniel had left them but now, knowing she was crying over him, Jack O'Neill, was almost too much to bear. So little time together, no really together, a matter of months, three to be exact.  
"Sam," Jack said, "Sam listen to me, please." Sam looked up at the man she had now loved and lost, "What ?" she said, her face glistening with tears. She finally realised how painful it must have been for her alternate self. She was going through the exact pain. No, alternate Sam had married Jack and had one year with him. This Sam had not been so lucky.  
"Why did I wait so long to tell you how I really felt Jack ? Why ?"  
  
"Sam, don't do this to yourself, please." Jack said, "I want you to do something for me. Go to my quarters, look in the drawer of the nightstand for a box, there's an envelope too. Sam, do this for me." Sam nodded. Jack moved forward and took Sam in his arms and they kissed for a long time.  
"Sam, I always have and always will love you. Remember that."  
"Ditto Jack." Sam smiled through her tears.  
"I'll never leave you." Jack said, he glanced at Daniel, "Nor will Daniel." Sam moved away from Jack and hugged Daniel too. The three of them joined together for a few moments before Sam was pulled back into the Infirmary. She held Jack's body for a while before stepping away.  
"Goodbye Jack. I love you."  
  
Sam asked Teal'c to accompany her to Jack's quarters. Respectfully he waited outside. Sam remembered Jack's instructions. Walking into this room was strange, Jack's smell was still here, enveloping her. She walked over to the closet, his dress blues were here along with his civilian clothes. She pulled out his battered leather jacket and slowly inhaled the smell. Tears formed again in her eyes but she blinked them away.  
Sam went over to the bed, neatly made as always. She sat down and opened the drawer. As Jack had said there was a box, a red velvet box. Sam took the box and turned it over in her hands before slowly opening it. Inside the box was a beautiful diamond ring. The diamond set inside a diamond shape band of gold. As Sam lifted the ring from the box, she noticed writing inside the ring band.  
"To My Darling Sam, As Always, The Brains Of SG-1. Jack." The tears fell, this time Sam did not stop them. She found the envelope now and opened it;  
  
My Darling Sam, How long I have waited to say that to you. If you are reading this now, well, I guess I'm gone. I suppose you're wondering why I wrote this ? Y'see Sam, I knew something was wrong, very wrong. Just didn't want to say it out loud, military bravado and all that. Sam, I love you so much. Pity I waited until Danny had gone before I plucked up enough courage to tell you. Why do we wait so long to tell someone how we really feel ? I remember you saying that to Daniel. I hope now that you're wearing the ring, believe me, if this hadn't happened, I would've gotten down on bended knee in the Gate Room, in full view, with a rose in my teeth just to ask for your hand in marriage. I'm an old fashioned guy at heart. Wear the ring with pride Sam, shout it from the rooftops. I Jack O'Neill loved Samantha Carter, to hell with the rules. I never was one to obey the rules, was I ? This isn't goodbye Sam, it never is. Thanks to Daniel, I believe in what's next. Don't give up Sam, I'll always be with you no matter what. Always One more thing, before I go, the cabin by the lake and my truck, all paid up, they're yours now. Learn to fish, it's very relaxing ! Love You Sam  
  
~Jack~  
  
"Are you alright Major Carter ?" Teal'c asked from outside.  
"Yes Teal'c." Sam replied, wiping the tears from her eyes. She went to the door and opened it, holding out her left hand. On the third finger, Jack's engagement ring took pride of place. Sam turned to the phone beside the door, it may not be from the rooftops, Jack, but this will do for now, she thought as her voice echoed round the base.  
"Colonel Jack O'Neill loved Major Samantha Carter. And she loves him right back !" In the Infirmary General Hammond and Dr Frasier looked at each other and smiled. Sam and Teal'c walked down the corridors, getting smiles from other members of the SGC. As they walked into the Infirmary, Janet Frasier took her friend into a hug.  
"He heard me Janet, I know he did." Sam said.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was meant to be a stand alone "what if" story, but after much angst I decided to make it into a series.. READ ON ! (Please ()  
  
© VICTORIA C.L FORSYTH AKA GEKKO23474 


	2. Nightmares And Dreamscapes Chapter Two

The Stargate name and original characters belong solely to MGM, Double Secret and Gekko Film Corp. The title has been 'borrowed' from a Stephen King novel. However the storyline and any new characters that follow belong to me; © Victoria C.L Forsyth 2002 (AKA Gekko23474)  
  
PART TWO  
  
A Stargate SG-1 Story  
  
Sam couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. This feeling had been with her ever since Jack had gone. Maybe it had been there before, maybe when after Daniel had left them. In the space of a year, SG-1 had been cruelly reduced from four to two. Four and a half months ago Daniel Jackson had 'ascended'. No matter how you put it, Daniel Jackson had left them. Then fate dealt an even crueller hand, Colonel Jack O'Neill had died in Sam's arms one month ago, on a planet far away from home. Not by enemy hands, but killed by a ruptured aneurysm. Sam had cradled him as he slipped away, only to discover his true feelings for her. She wore the ring he had left for her, carried the letter he had written for her, treasured every last memory she had. So different from the cool, unflappable Major Samantha Carter, the lynchpin of SG-1, the calm voice of reason. Maybe what had thrown her was Jack's posthumous declaration of love. Long before this, the rule of no relationships within ranks, kept them at arms length. Now, to coin a phrase of Jack's; to hell with that.  
  
Sam felt different, no mistake there. Everything had changed, her friends at the SGC treated her with kid gloves. Even Cassie, Dr Fraiser's adoptive daughter, edged around Sam, like she was made of glass and would break at the slightest word. Their regular Saturday chess games, had lost their fun side, Cassie watched Sam with sadness.  
General Hammond gave Sam more personal time than she knew what to do with. Time she split between her own home and Jack's cabin. She had begun to feel even more at home at Jack's. He had been right, it was relaxing. Sam smiled as she looked at the fishing rod, maybe one day, she thought out loud. On more than one occasion Teal'c came back to the cabin with her. Sam felt safe with Teal'c around Over the last month, the big man had been a constant source of friendship and support. Teal'c had changed too, it was like he wanted to protect Sam.  
There were no offworld missions for her or Teal'c. Other SG units went through the Gate, although less frequent than before, Dr Fraiser still wanted to rule out the link between the cause of Jack's death and Gate travel. Sam helped her sometimes, compiling data, gathering samples, questioning returning teams.  
Teal'c ventured through the Gate to visit his family. He had informed Bra'tac of Colonel O'Neill's death. Bra'tac had sent a token of his condolence back with Teal'c, Sam was grateful.  
The only thorn was the SGC's inability to contact Jacob. Sam's father was on a mission to bring to safety far flung groups of Tok'ra operatives. Sam was secretly relieved, she wasn't sure she could handle her father's open concern for her right now, she just needed some time to come to terms with the loss, time to herself.  
Sam moved around the base like a lost soul, even the motorcycle she was building lay neglected. She seemed to belong here and not belong. Never before could she recall feeling this lost as an adult. As a child yes, the loss of her mother had torn her apart, but as an adult, no. At least not until now. Not until Jack O'Neill had slipped away from her.  
Late at night, as she searched for sleep, Sam imagined she could hear him, hear his "Ya Think ?" or his exasperated retorts of "For Crying Out Loud !" or "Damn it Daniel !" Every morning Sam would awaken, looking forward to a new day until she realised she was on her own again.  
  
Still that feeling of unease.  
  
Sam had awoken with the same wave of nausea, of panic. Every morning, the same feeling. She hated feeling so low, so depressed. The feeling of losing control. Reaching over for the glass of water on her night stand, Sam took a gulp and slowly got up from her bunk.  
She dressed quickly and left her quarters, hoping to catch Janet before the day started properly.  
"Hey Sam." Janet said as her friend walked into the Infirmary. She noticed how Sam always seemed to look nervous in here. "Janet." Sam attempted to look relaxed. "What can I do for you ? Are you sleeping OK ?" "Apart from the dreams. Actually they're more like nightmares." Sam confided, "But I'll grow out of them." "I hate to ask this, but any headaches Sam ?" Janet asked. Sam shook her head, "No." Jack had been the only one who had the headaches, Sam thought, the real headaches, not the ones caused by too many ribbon devices or sarcophagus trips. "Are you eating ?" "Junk." Sam said with a smile, "Daniel got me onto Fifth Avenue Bars. Now it's all I can face." Janet raised her eyebrows, "Nausea ?" Sam looked at her, "Too many candy bars. How Daniel did it I'll never know. Actually yes, Janet, every time I wake up. It goes on all day, then by supper I'm starving for real food." Janet walked over to a shelf and pulled down a box of needles. "Sam, I want to get some blood. Will you let me do that ?" "Sure." Sam replied, "Janet, what do you think this is ?" "I think stress, Sam. Anyone who's been through what you've gone through, is going to react somehow." Janet actually had another suspicion, but didn't want to alarm Sam until she was completely sure.  
  
There was no doubt. Janet checked the results twice over, to be sure. "Oh Sam," she said to herself. Janet decided to search out Sam, rather than page her to the Infirmary. She found her friend sat in Jack O'Neill's quarters. The irony was not lost.  
  
"Hi Sam." Janet said. "Hi Janet, come in, sit down." Janet chose the chair nearest the desk. Sam stayed on the bed. "Sam, I've got your results back." Janet paused. "You have ?" Sam asked, absentmindedly. "Yes. Sam, listen to me." Janet needed Sam's full attention. "I'm listening." Sam replied, holding a photograph of SG- 1 in her hands. "Sam, this isn't just stress. You're..pregnant." Sam suddenly snapped to attention. "I'm what ?". Suddenly this wasn't her secret anymore. "About four and half months, to be exact." Janet said, watching Sam carefully.  
  
"You're kidding." Sam said, but her voice was flat. Four and a half months, three days after Daniel's ascension, Sam and Jack, after a few bottles of wine..Neither of them had wanted to be alone.  
  
Sam was silent for a moment, "I knew, Janet. I've felt different. I guess I just thought it was stress, a reaction to what had happened. I even thought that if I wasn't showing any outward signs, I'd be OK. I didn't want to think for one moment I was could actually be pregnant."  
  
"Some people don't show, until much further on. Sam, I checked your results twice."  
  
Sam smiled, "I don't doubt that Janet, but hearing you say it, makes it even more real, like its no longer just a thought in my own mind." Janet looked at her friend.  
  
"It's Jack's, Janet. The timing is right, our first time, not long after we lost Daniel..." Sam paused, trying to gather her thoughts. Then the tears began to fall.  
  
"He'll never know, Janet, he'll never know. I was pregnant when he died, and I didn't want to believe it." Janet went over to take Sam in her arms. She held her while she cried.  
  
Sam was exhausted, she couldn't even count the tears she'd cried. She lay down in Jack's quarters, trying to make sense of recent events. As she left the Infirmary, Teal'c had greeted her in the corridor, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him her news. Sam stared at the ceiling, being in here brough her closer to Jack. On the base anyway. Off base, she preferred the calm of Jack's cabin, his haven..her haven, she corrected herself.  
  
That was something else to get used to, Jack's home, her home. She could've gotten used to it if she was sharing it with him, but he had in effect bequeathed it to her. She thought of the countless times Jack had asked her to go fishing with him. He'd asked everyone to go fishing with him, even Thor. The cabin by the lake was Jack's life and it felt like the only place Sam could really feel close to him. After all, it was here he retreated to the most. Suddenly an absurd thought popped into her head, The cabin, the lake, it wouldn't be safe for a child. Maybe while the baby was still in a crib, or a playpen, but not when he or she started toddling. Not such an absurd thought, no certainly not absurd. More realistic. A child, Jack's child. Sam allowed herself a rare smile. An oasis of joy in a desert of grief. She was carrying Jack O'Neill's child. A few years ago, Sam would never have even considered a relationship with him, not least because it was against the rules, but even if it had been approved of, a relationship with Colonel Jack O'Neill just couldn't be envisaged. How times changed, thank you Daniel, Sam thought.  
Still, just to have Daniel and Jack back again, to have SG-1 complete, Sam would happily swap her life now, for that to happen. Sam found her mind wandering back to the first meeting with the foundling SG-1, more accurately meeting Jack. Then came meeting Daniel and finally the turnaround of Apophis' First Prime, Jaffa, Teal'c. Over the years that followed, the four of them had been there for each other, seen many amazing things, met multitudes and been hurt or temporarily killed more times than they cared to remember. Sam had wished for a sarcophagus when Jack had died in her arms, but it had been too late, too quick, too much irreperable damage caused by the aneurysm. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride..  
  
TO BE CONTINUED....  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
Stick with it, less angst, more..well..go to Part Three and READ ON FCOL ! (  
  
© VICTORIA C.L FORSYTH AKA Gekko23474 


	3. Nightmares And Dreamscapes Chapter Three

The Stargate name and original characters belong solely to MGM, Double Secret and Gekko Film Corp. The title has been 'borrowed' from a Stephen King novel. I have also 'borrowed' The Animal Song from Savage Garden. However the storyline and any new characters that follow belong to me; © Victoria C.L Forsyth 2002 (AKA Gekko23474)  
  
PART THREE  
  
A Stargate SG-1 Story  
  
"She's awake Colonel." Sam recognised the voice, Janet. But whom was she calling Colonel? What other Colonel on this base would be so interested in her that he or she would be waiting in the Infirmary for Sam to wake up?  
"Peachy. Sam, Sam sweetheart, can you hear me?" Peachy? Sweetheart? Jack's voice? No, it couldn't be. OK, Sam thought to herself, I want to wake up now, this isn't funny. Sam tried to open her eyes. Through blurred vision, Sam could make out the Infirmary, the monitor flickering at the side of her bed. A face appeared in view, Janet, then she moved out of view and Jack appeared.  
"Jack? Is she OK?" Another voice, Daniel's. Sam was confused, Daniel's voice. How? Why? She opened her eyes a little more and blinked. Her vision began to clear even more and she could see a group of figures at the foot of the bed. Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond were there. Jack was to the left of her and Janet to the right.  
If this is heaven, then nice, but I don't want to be in the Infirmary in heaven, Sam thought. But if this was heaven, why were Janet, Teal'c and General Hammond here? What had happened to the base? Just as she was contemplating this, another figure came into view, standing beside Jack..  
"Sam, kiddo."  
"Dad?" Sam's voice was a croak. Everyone was here, everyone she cared about, and they were all here for her.  
"What's going on?" Sam asked.  
"We thought we'd lost you." Jack spoke quietly. It was then that Sam could see Jack's face properly, he was crying now. In all honesty, he looked like he'd done a lot of crying, his face was weary.  
  
"What happened?" Janet spoke now, "You've been unconscious for a month Sam." A month?  
"On the last mission, we were attacked by Goa'uld. They took you Sam." Jack was trying to keep the emotion from his voice.  
"Took me? Jack, I was there all along, you died, Jack you died in my arms. But it wasn't a Goa'uld that killed you. Teal'c and I brought you back here."  
"Sam.." Jack began.  
"The event you are referring to, Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill was knocked out by zat fire, you were the first to get to him, to shield him from further attack." Teal'c explained. "I carried the Colonel through the Gate."  
"Then you disappeared Sam. I came to in the Infirmary, Daniel told me you'd been taken by the rings." Jack continued.  
"I don't understand." Sam said.  
"We couldn't get back to the planet for days, it took Daniel almost two weeks before he could locate you, he worked non stop to find you." Jack said.  
"Eventually," Daniel took over the story; "We got a lock on the planet again. By the time we got through the Goa'uld mother ship had brought you back to the planet, it left orbit after we arrived." Sam's head was spinning, out of it for a month, taken by a Goa'uld mother ship, left on a planet. Wait, she remembered something.  
"The Asgard." She said.  
"What about 'em Sam?" Jack leaned in closer to her, so that she wouldn't have to strain her voice talking.  
"The Asgard, they got me off the mother ship.."  
"Are you sure?" Daniel asked.  
"Yes," Sam replied, "I remember seeing Thor, he told me it would be OK, you guys would come back for me."  
"The little guy sure wasn't wrong." Jack said, making a mental note to give Thor a big bear hug when he saw him next. Sam's face suddenly fell as she remembered other events from her unconscious mind.  
"Sam? What is it?" Jack asked, his face etched with concern for her. "Sir, there's something you need to know." Sam said, trying to find the right words.  
"What?" Jack was openly worried now.  
"Your headaches, don't ignore them. Please get yourself checked out." Sam's voice raised on octave, as she realised she had a chance to prevent Jack's painful death, "Janet, help him please."  
"OK, that's it, everyone out," Janet said, "Sam needs rest. You can all come back later." Sam looked around her as each of her friends, and her father came closer to say how glad they were that she was awake. Sam was touched to have so much support. As they left, including Jack, Sam called out.  
"Can Jack, I mean, the Colonel, stay?" she asked.  
"Not for long." Janet said, but she moved away to give Sam and Jack some privacy.  
"Hey you," Jack said, sitting on the bed, his long legs stretched out as balance.  
"Colonel." Sam said.  
"Drop the Colonel, Sam, I thought we were way beyond that." Jack said.  
"I guess," Sam replied, "I think sweetheart should prove that."  
"Do you think they noticed?" Jack asked, his eyes crinkling up as he grinned.  
"God, I hope not, " Sam allowed herself to smile, "Otherwise one of us is outta SG-1"  
"Over my dead body." Jack retorted, but immediately regretted his words seeing Sam's face fall again, what had happened to her?  
"After you were knocked out, did Janet run tests?" Sam asked.  
"Yes, I did." Janet had come over.  
"CT scans? X-Rays?"  
"Are you telling me my job?" Janet asked, but she wasn't angry.  
"I'm sorry Janet, I just want to make sure, after what I saw happen.." Sam stopped, what she had seen was too horrible to recall easily.  
"Colonel O'Neill's head x-rays and scans were clear, no trauma, no damage, no sign of anything untoward."  
"Hey Dorothy, the Wizard gave me a brain." Jack quipped in the hope of bringing a smile to Sam's face.  
"Now, Colonel, I think Sam needs a good night's natural sleep. How about you come back tomorrow?" Janet said.  
"OK Doc, just give us a few minutes?" Janet nodded and turned back to the monitor. Jack leaned forward and kissed Sam on the nose, "I will see you tomorrow Major and that's an order."  
"Thank you, Sir." Sam said, the smile back on her face. She watched Jack leave the Infirmary and closed her eyes. Sam was relieved to sleep and not have the same dreams. Janet stayed close by, making sure Sam was OK. It was obvious to Janet that Jack wasn't going to sleep either as she spotted him several times through the night, hovering near the door.  
The next morning, Jack was at the door again, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Janet was amazed, what a difference there was in Jack. Over the last month he'd hung around the Infirmary, waiting for any sign of Sam waking up, almost to the point of making a nuisance of himself, but Janet couldn't bring herself to ask him to leave. Jack had even helped Janet out, learning quickly how to check an IV, or making sure Sam was comfortable. Jack was the one who kept her lips moist with the glycerine, and mopped at her brow. He didn't want to leave her. Jack even said to Janet on one occasion that he'd left Sam behind once, never again. Janet tried to reason with him, that being knocked unconscious did not constitute leaving a team member behind. It even got to a point where Janet was ready to prepare a bed for him herself, so bad were the signs of exhaustion Jack was exhibiting. Now he was back to his usual happy self. It didn't take a rocket scientist to work out why but Janet was keeping it to herself, knowing full well the regulations.  
"Morning Sam." Jack said as soon as Sam opened her eyes.  
"Morning Sir." Sam said, momentarily forgetting.  
"How are you feeling this morning?" Jack asked, choosing to ignore Sam's 'Sir'.  
"Better, but still confused. I lost a month of my life." Sam replied, it felt strange to her. "Actually, it was six weeks wasn't it?"  
"Uh huh." Jack said as he perched on the end of the bed, "But you're home now, that's all that matters."  
"Hello." Jacob had walked in the room.  
"Hi Dad." Sam smiled, "You didn't come here for me did you? I mean, they didn't come and get you for this?"  
"Are you kidding Sam? Daniel and Teal'c came to find me. Jack here wouldn't leave your side to join them." Jacob cast a sideways glance at Jack. "Sweetheart, I'm just glad you're alright. The Tok'ra can do without me for a while." Jacob bowed his head and when he raised it again, it was Selmac who spoke; "Major Carter, your father would be of no use to the Tok'ra while you were missing or sick, I am happy that you are recovering from your ordeal. Rest assured that we will try and determine who was responsible for this."  
"I can't even help you on that." Sam said, "From what I remember about the ship, there were no distinguishing features to set it apart from every other mother ship we set foot on."  
"Don't worry Sam, like I said, I'm just glad you're alive. We all are." It was Jacob who now spoke.  
"Thanks Dad." Janet was satisfied with Sam's progress. Enough to release her. Not enough however, to let her go back on duty.  
"A few days away from the base." She said, "Then we'll see."  
"That's fine. Peachy even." Jack said, "Come home with me Sam."  
"Sir, Jack, you don't have to wrap me in cotton wool. I'll be fine at home. You don't have to do this." Sam tried to argue.  
"Sure I do. Actually, I don't HAVE to. I want to." Jack smiled, "That's if Jacob here doesn't have any objections."  
"No objections from me." Jacob grinned, "At least I know you're in safe hands Sam, I don't want you all alone at home after what you've been through." Sam grimaced, "This is a conspiracy, I know it."  
"Ya think?" Jack quipped. After the decision was made, General Hammond, along with Daniel and Teal'c came to visit Sam, who was now out of bed, dressed and ready to go. Daniel came forward and kissed Sam on the forehead, "It's good to see you up and about, Sam." Sam thought it was good to see Daniel too, but she didn't want to bring up the subject of him being gone in her dream.  
An hour later, Sam was sat in Jack's SUV being driven home, or at least to Jack's home. When they got there, Jack helped her from the truck as if she were made of glass. Once inside he took her to the couch, ordered her to put her feet up and got her a blanket. Sam was embarrassed. Not just because her CO was treating her so well, but also because never in her life had she depended on anyone. She said this much to Jack.  
"Oh for crying out loud Sam, let someone take care of YOU for once. Stop being Ms Independent." Jack said, "I am not doing this for some power trip, OK. You of all people should know me by now. I don't give anyone an easy ride. Daniel is a walking testament to that." Sam smiled, Jack was right, never let it be said that Colonel Jack O'Neill was a soft touch!  
"Jack, don'tcha think the General's gonna get a little suspicious especially seeing as you insisted on taking me home?"  
"Who cares?" Jack said, "I sure as hell don't. Besides, Jacob was OK with it. Last thing I want is Daddy's disapproval!" Sam leaned back against the arm of the couch. This felt good, being with Jack. While she lay on the couch, he was sat on the floor in front of her. She watched him; Jack was so different away from the base, less uptight, less reliant on sarcasm to carry him.  
"OK Sam." Jack said, suddenly serious.  
"What?" Sam was just beginning to feel relaxed.  
"Something happened, spill."  
"Don't Jack, just forget it." Sam wanted to forget it but something in Jack's eyes told her that he wasn't about to forget it.  
"Sam, you had a warning for me. Is there some grounding behind it? Or was it just concern? Only by the way you were so insistent, and the way you grilled Janet over my treatment, it seemed more than mere concern. Am I right?" Sam tried to hide her face, tried to hide the tears that were escaping her eyes, but lying on Jack's couch while he was looking straight at her, made hiding not so easy.  
"Sam?" Jack's voice was softer now.  
"Jack, you don't understand, you weren't there. Well actually you were, but you had no way of knowing what was happening." Sam's voice caught. Jack watched her intently. Sam swallowed the lump in her throat and continued;  
"We were on a recon, you, me and Teal'c. You'd been complaining of headaches for days, when you came through the gate, you stumbled, you were disorientated. You said you were OK, peachy was your exact word. I went on ahead, taking ground samples, next thing I knew, Teal'c was calling my name and you were lying on the ground." Jack wanted to speak but instead allowed Sam to continue.  
"As soon as I got to you, I knew. You begged me to make the pain stop. I couldn't. You were dying Jack. Teal'c wanted to go get help, but it was too late. You died in my arms, but not before you..told me you loved me." Sam's words were like someone had punched him, Jack, in his alternate form had had the guts to tell Sam how he felt.  
"Teal'c carried you through the Gate. Janet confirmed what I already knew, that you'd died on the planet. We were allowed to see you, to say goodbye." Jack silently got up from the floor and sat down beside Sam. He wanted to hold her, take her into his arms, but he was afraid to.  
""You appeared to me, Jack. You and Daniel. You had ascended. Like Daniel. You told me that you had left something in your quarters for me. When I went there, I found a box and an envelope. In the box was a beautiful diamond ring. The envelope held a letter, I can even remember what it said."  
"Tell me." Jack said quietly, "If you want to."  
"OK." Sam said and she began to recite the words.  
  
My Darling Sam, How long I have waited to say that to you. If you are reading this now, well, I guess I'm gone. I suppose you're wondering why I wrote this? Sam, I knew something was wrong, very wrong. Just didn't want to say it out loud, military bravado and all that. Sam, I love you so much. Pity I waited until Danny had gone before I plucked up enough courage to tell you. Why do we wait so long to tell someone how we really feel? I remember you saying that to Daniel. I hope now that you're wearing the ring, believe me, if this hadn't happened, I would've gotten down on bended knee in the Gate Room, in full view, with a rose in my teeth just to ask for your hand in marriage. I'm an old fashioned guy at heart. Wear the ring with pride Sam, shout it from the rooftops. I Jack O'Neill loved Samantha Carter, to hell with the rules. I never was one to obey the rules, was I? This isn't goodbye Sam, it never is. Thanks to Daniel, I believe in what's next. Don't give up Sam; I'll always be with you no matter what. Always One more thing, before I go, the cabin by the lake and my truck, all paid up, they're yours now. Learn to fish, it's very relaxing! Love You Sam  
  
~Jack~  
  
Despite himself, Jack smiled, typical of him to remember the fishing. "The cabin is more you" he said, "not the house."  
"That's not all Jack." Sam said.  
"Oh?"  
"The best is yet to come," Sam's tone carried heavy sarcasm. Jack waited.  
"The next discovery I made was, ready for this?" Sam asked. "I was pregnant, by you. Four and a half months." If Sam had had a camera, the look on Jack's face could've been a prize shot.  
"Woah. I never expected that." Jack said.  
"I wasn't exactly planning for that to happen either. Dumb thing was, at the time I was worried about living here, with a baby and the lake." Sam attempted to lighten the situation.  
"For crying out loud Sam," Jack said, smiling now, "Ever the practical one."  
"Well, someone had to be." Sam smiled too, through her tears.  
"Oh Sam." Jack said, he moved forward to take her in his arms now.  
"It's OK, Jack. It was another time, another us."  
"Sam, it's not OK. Because it raises some awkward emotions, for both of us. I for one was facing up to never being able to tell you how I really feel. Now I tell you in some alternate reality, after I'm dead! How romantic is that? Hang on, I ascended? Like Daniel?"  
"Yes." Sam felt like laughing, Jack was so impressed that he had ascended, all be it in another life.  
"Hey, way to go me, I'm worthy!!" Jack said, with his tongue firmly in cheek. Sam suddenly felt better.  
"It's good to see you smile Sam." Jack said.  
"It's good to have something to smile about." Sam said truthfully. It was now that Sam fully appreciated where she was and whom she was with.  
"You know something, Sam?"  
"What?"  
"I think what we need is a party."  
"Jack."  
"I'm serious. OK, not today, you need to rest, if you don't, Jacob and Janet will probably zat me, but maybe tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow would be good. Tomorrow is Friday. Friday is always good for a party." Sam laughed. Once Jack got started it was hard to stop him. Jack looked over at Sam, she looked exhausted.  
"Sam, let's get you to bed."  
"WHAT?" Sam wasn't sure she'd heard right. Jack laughed out loud at Sam's shocked face.  
"Not that way, Sam. You need some sleep."  
"Oh, right." That was embarrassing, Sam thought. She let Jack help her up.  
"You can use my bed." Jack said. When they got to his room, Jack pulled back the covers while Sam climbed in. As she lay down, Jack smoothed the covers over her. He then lay beside her, on top of the bed and gently placed his arm round her shoulders. Sam sighed and closed her eyes. She was asleep in moments.  
Listening to Sam's gentle breathing made Jack sleepy himself. With his arm still protectively round Sam, Jack dozed off, amazed that he was lying here, with her.  
  
The next morning, Sam was awakened by the smell of frying bacon. A few minutes later, Jack appeared at the doorway, looking dishevelled in a pair of sweatpants and an old USAF T-shirt. His grey hair stood up in all directions. Sam had to admit he looked cute.  
"Time for the O'Neill breakfast special." Jack said, lowering a tray onto the bed.  
"The what?" Sam asked before looking at the tray.  
"The O'Neill breakfast special," Jack repeated, "Complete with a max strength Jackson coffee." Sam smiled, the smell of the coffee was pretty overpowering!! The O'Neill breakfast special consisted of four rashers of bacon, three waffles and two eggs over easy. Add to that, the sweet touch of an unidentified wild flower in a glass on the tray and Sam was set.  
Jack perched himself on the bed, "Anything else, ma'am?" he asked.  
"This is great Jack, it really is." Sam said, as she tucked into the food in front of her. Jack never tired of watching Sam, be it here or when they were at the base or offworld. Ever since the first meeting, the sharp comments, her blonde hair, blue eyes, wicked smile, but especially the sharp comments, from a woman who knew when she was winning, who knew she was smarter and didn't need to be protected. A strong woman, who could fight with the boys and come out smiling. Samantha Carter, Major Samantha Carter. His Sam? Maybe.  
"OH." Jack suddenly remembered the early calls. "The party is on."  
"Party?" Sam thought for a moment, and then also remembered Jack's statement of the night before.  
"Yep. Danny's coming, so's Teal'c, Janet and the General, even Major Davis, and.Dad."  
"Dad?"  
"Yours, not mine," Jack was grinning now; the grin that always made Sam fell weird inside. Happy weird.  
"Is it OK, if I take a shower?" Sam asked, pushing away the tray.  
"Sure," Jack said, "What's mine is yours, remember."  
  
"Thanks." Sam said. She got up out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Jack took the tray through to the kitchen and put the empty plate in the dishwasher, hell, she'd even finished the coffee! Sam was singing in the shower. Jack smiled to himself. He pulled a denim shirt out of the closet and carried it over to the bathroom door. Without looking into the room, he thrust his arm in and dumped the shirt on the towel rail, "Just leaving something for you to wear Sam." He called into the billowy steam.  
"Thanks Jack." Sam stopped singing and called back. A few minutes later, Sam emerged; hair slicked back, dripping onto her shoulders, Jack's shirt on, three sizes too big for her. Jack couldn't stop staring!  
  
Jack had decorated the whole house. A banner proclaiming, "WELCOME HOME SAM" was stretched across from the kitchen to the fireplace. There were balloons and streamers across every surface. The entire stock of the local liquor store appeared to fill one of the kitchen counters and on another counter; the deli had set up shop.  
"Nice, Jack, real nice." Sam laughed. "Who'd ya invite, the whole of the SGC?"  
"Just a few close friends." Jack smiled, Sam looked one hundred percent better, pity she wasn't still wearing that shirt. The doorbell rang. Jack sprang to attention and Sam could hear, "Hey Danny!" Daniel walked in, followed by Teal'c who was wearing a Chicago Bulls hat.  
"Hey Sam," Daniel said, enveloping Sam in a hug.  
"Daniel." Sam was happy to see him; he was like a brother to her and remembering that he'd been gone in her alternate world, made this occasion more poignant.  
"Hello Major Carter." Teal'c said in his usual polite manner.  
"It's Sam, we're off duty."  
"I am accustomed to using your rank, Major Carter." Teal'c responded.  
"OK, Teal'c, that's fine." Sam didn't have time to think about it, the doorbell had rung again and Janet walked in with Cassie.  
"Hi guys." Sam greeted her friend and her 'niece' with a hug.  
"How are you feeling Sam?" Janet asked, "I'm asking as a friend, not your doctor, by the way."  
"Much better, Jack's very good with the T.L.C."  
"I'm glad you're OK, Sam." Cassie said. One more time the doorbell rang and the final three guests for the evening had arrived together, General Hammond, Jacob Carter and Major Paul Davis. It was strange to see the General and Davis in civilian gear.  
"Let's get this party started. " Jack said, "So before we tuck in..I just want to say, Welcome Home Sam."  
"Hear, hear." The assembled group all cheered.  
"Music, maestro!" Jack said to a waiting Daniel, who chose a CD and hit play. The Animal Song by Savage Garden boomed out and filled the room.  
  
Monday morning and SG-1 were all rightfully assembled at the SGC. The debriefing they should have had six weeks ago, was about to take place. General Hammond had called them all to the Briefing Room. Sam and Jack, not too keen on displaying anything other than professional distance, sat opposite each other at the table.  
"In an official capacity, Major Carter, I would like to welcome you back." General Hammond said.  
"Thank you Sir." Sam replied.  
"Now, I understand this may be difficult for you, but if you can recall anything of your.."  
"Ordeal, Sir?" Sam finished the General's sentence. Over the last few days with a lot of gentle prompting from Jack, Sam had begun to accept what had happened to her, even if she didn't exactly understand it. That was a first, Sam Carter not understanding something. "It's OK, worse things happen at sea, I'm fine about it, honestly." Sam smiled. All eyes in the room were on her, caring.  
General Hammond was about to speak, when a beam of light suddenly appeared in the room. The light dissipated. A familiar figure had now joined the briefing.  
"Hey Thor!" Jack said, he thought for a beat, realizing the whole 'Hey Thor - Hathor' and then said,"OK, that didn't come out right." Sam found herself smirking, as did Daniel and even Teal'c raised an eyebrow.  
"I'll try again." Jack said, "Welcome, Thor."  
"Thank you O'Neill." Thor said, his huge dark eyes blinking and taking in the figures in the room, "Forgive my unannounced arrival. I however, have some information to share with you."  
"You have?"  
"Yes. I have been able to confirm the identity of Major Carter's abductor."  
"Neat." Jack said, "Who?"  
"Major Carter was taken by Osiris."  
"Huh?" Jack looked at Thor.  
"That's it, I remember seeing her, she used the hand device, and she was trying to." Sam stalled; she remembered a lot of bright light and pain, intense pain.  
"Osiris was attempting to get information on the Tok'ra base." Thor continued.  
"Oh no," Sam was shaking her head, "Please God, no." Sam was becoming so distressed that Jack wanted for the entire world to take her away from this room, this base, stop her from hurting.  
  
"Major Carter, you did not reveal any of the Tok'ra secrets." Thor spoke carefully.  
"You do not know that. I don't even know that." Sam said.  
"Maybe this will convince you." Thor said and he placed the hologram device down on the table. Moving the stones across the device, a figure appeared in front of them.  
"Sam, can you hear me?" It was Jacob. "Sam, listen to Thor, he's telling you the truth."  
"Dad?"  
"Yes, I've been assisting Thor. He'll explain." Jacob vanished then.  
"Osiris had been searching for you, Major Carter. He knew of the marker you carried from Jolinar and he believed you would give up the location of the Tok'ra base. However, I was able to get a lock on his ship and prevent him from using the hand device to any effect. He did, however, have enough time to imbed false memories, this can be an effective weapon if you want to control someone." Thor said, gravely.  
"So, where is she.he now?" Daniel asked. "You know I can't get used to having Sarah described as 'he' although I know Osiris was male..I'm sorry Sam." he said, as he realised where he was heading. Sam smiled at Daniel, as if to say, "It's OK."  
"Osiris used an escape pod. A search of the planet proved to be fruitless." Thor continued, oblivious to Daniel's nervous ramble "His ship is now within the Asgard hold, we will use its technology to compliment our own. Major Carter, I had to leave you on the planet, so that your fellow Tau'ri would find you. I knew you would be safe, although our search of the planet did not bring us Osiris, I was satisfied that he was no longer a danger to you. Unfortunately, I was unable to stay in orbit of the planet for very long, for fear of raising suspicion if another Goa'uld ship were to arrive in a rescue attempt for Osiris." Thor paused, "The Tok'ra Base is safe, and will remain so as long as possible. I am afraid I cannot confirm whether Osiris is still alive, or indeed whether he will return to the planet. But for the time being, I believe if Osiris is alive, he will remain in hiding. I must leave you now."  
"Thanks, Thor buddy." Jack said, he was grateful beyond words, to the 'little grey guy', for saving Sam's life.  
"Your thanks is not necessary, O'Neill." Thor said, "If I receive further word, I will inform you immediately."  
"As will we, if we hear anything." Jack said.  
"Thank you Thor." Sam said. Thor set his gaze upon Sam, and then disappeared again in the beam of light.  
  
"Way to go Thor." Jack said, glancing over at Sam, who at last looked relaxed. General Hammond rose from his seat, "If you feel up to it Major, with Dr Fraiser's clearance, you can resume normal duties."  
"I feel up to it, Sir." Sam said, "But what about the debriefing?"  
"I think Thor just debriefed the situation for us all." General Hammond said.  
"OK, I'd better head for the Infirmary then." Sam said, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She left the Briefing Room along with Jack, Daniel and Teal's.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
"Ya think" I could really kill off Colonel Jack O'Neill? No way! "For Crying Out Loud!"  
  
© VICTORIA C.L FORSYTH AKA GEKKO23474 


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